i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
