I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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