No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
