I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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