ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
