This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
