we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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