Nicole vs. Life
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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