I want to stick my p in your. b.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
This baby is an asshole
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
