don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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