chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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