He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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