I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
