32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I think your dad took our porno
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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