so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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