but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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