This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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