4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
