Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
