Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
