I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
