You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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