STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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