PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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