you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The beer is more important than you right now.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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