If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
