I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
do herpes really smell.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Randomize
