I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
