I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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