A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
