so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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