It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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