so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
