Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
