Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
