Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
