If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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