I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
