every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
