he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she peed on how many people?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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