she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
