i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
