He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
