you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
