I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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