She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
