You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
