My first STD was from a foam party
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
