I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
