i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
